Instead, I find myself writing about how difficult it is to fulfill pregnancy. I write about how miserable I am, how horrible infertility is.
But then I realized something. I am telling my story, a different kind of story, but one that seems to help others who are struggling with infertility.
I am not writing for you to feel sorry for me. I am writing because I want to express my feelings, my thoughts, my dreams.
Last night, I was working on my homework when I received a text message from my mom. The text read,
"Just wanted to let you know that your uncle is in the hospital.
I am not sure what is going on but whatever it is they are not telling your grandmother,
I will call you tomorrow with more information"
I looked at my husband and said, "oh no, my uncle is in the hospital"... my husband quickly replied, "the one with cancer? oh that sucks".
My husband couldn't be more right. The fact that my uncle is in the hospital because he has cancer SUCKS!
I spent the whole day yesterday feeling sad for myself. I couldn't stop crying. Why? because of infertility. Yes, it is safe to say infertility is a medical condition but it is one that can be overcome; whether it is through IUI, IVF, or adoption. The changes of overcoming infertility are higher than overcoming cancer; you don't have to agree with me, but I think I am right.
Infertility is a bump on the road... but it has an almost guarantee outcome, because adoption is always an option. When I was first diagnosed with infertility, someone sent me a message saying:
"Whenever you feel like crying, cry,
Whenever you feel like laughing, laugh,
Just know that regardless,
YOU WILL get to be a mom,
adoption is always an option"
I can't honestly send a message to my uncle saying, just know that regardless, you will be cancer free. Simply, because I do not know that.
When I feel like the world is coming to an end because of infertility, I would think of my uncle, who is struggling with cancer because infertility is so small compare to what he is going through.