Heartbeat

"When you do take the home pregnancy test, it doesn't quite seem real. 

But when you see the baby and the heartbeat on the ultrasound, it's so incredible"

On April 19th, 2012 at 12:39pm, you made us so proud!

 "It's pulsing, that's insane", your daddy said

As we saw your heart beating for the first time. 

 

Y'all I am on the third trimester already!!! 13 weeks until I meet my bundle of joy :D

...10 weeks to full term!
13 weeks until EDD!

Today = 27 weeks!!!!

Bump update coming soon! Until then enjoy seeing the cutest puppy ever, my Chloe.

Puppy Chloe bonding with the baby! Too cute :)

...and a few minutes later, the baby started kicking my bladder.

Life is good!

Our baby is having a party in my tummy!

I love seeing my belly move...

Nursery

Hubby started painting the nursery today. We can't wait for our baby to see and enjoy it. He picked up some pretty cool paint colors. Oh, wait until you see the design he is doing, its amazing!!!

ps. I apologize for the blurry picture but I am in our bedroom and hubby is far away in the nursery...

18 weeks

                                         

 


How far along: 18 weeks; as of today 18 weeks 4 days :)


Baby's size: About the size of a pear, weighing 6 ounces

Sleep: Terrible, but that's okay. I just miss sleeping on my tummy

Maternity Clothes: Sometimes

Food cravings: Still loving my pizza

Food aversions: None...is toothpaste food? Baby hates it :)

Symptoms I have: Back pain

Doctor’s Appointment: in less than 7 days, we find out the gender for sure! 

Movement: Baby loves to part-ay at night :)

Belly Button: Innie.

Gender: Don't know yet... well sorta, we kinda do know but are waiting for the anatomy scan to make it official. 

What I’m looking forward to: Nursery shopping

What I miss: Nothing

"Learn to enjoy every minute of your life. Be happy now. Don't wait for something outside of yourself to make you happy in the future. Think how really precious is the time you have to spend, whether it's at work or with your family. Every minute should be enjoyed and savored"

Life Lately

Life lately:

1. I am obsessed with Pizza. I want to eat Pizza all the time; its just so delicious!
2. My sleeping beauty!
3. My husband checking his phone on top of his dressers. 
4. Husband and Doggie being silly.
5. Dear Hubby read to the baby for the first time. Yes, it is the 'Hunger Games' 

17 Weeks

How far along: 17 weeks

Baby's size: Baby is the size of an apple, weighting approximately 5 ounces

Sleep: I can't find a comfortable position to sleep; so it is not great

Maternity Clothes: Still mostly on the weekends. I need to go shopping! :)

Food cravings: Pizza

Food aversions: None, but oh baby hates toothpaste!!

Symptoms I have: I feel okay... I keep getting ligament pain

Doctor’s Appointment: in about three weeks for the anatomy scan :)

Movement: Baby loves to move around right before bed!

Belly Button: Innie.

Gender: Don't know yet. 

What I’m looking forward to: I cannot wait to find out the gender

What I miss: Nothing; although, it would be sweet to brush my teeth without having to vomit 

16 Weeks

How far along: 16 weeks

Baby's size: Baby is the size of an avocado, 4 1/2 inches and 3 1/2 ounces

Sleep: It is not great, not terrible either. I wake up a few times at night because my back hurts

Maternity Clothes: Mostly on the weekends, my work pants do not fit so I wear dresses mainly

Food cravings: Pizza

Food aversions: None

Symptoms I have: I feel great. I have sore boobs every so often, and still nauseous 

Doctor’s Appointment: in three weeks for the anatomy scan :)

Movement: It was the most amazing feeling ever! I can feel the baby when I am laying down before bed

Belly Button: Innie.

Gender: Don't know yet. 

What I’m looking forward to: Finding out the gender in a couple weeks

What I miss: Nothing. I absolutely love pregnancy so far. 

Chloe pretending she is asleep after I said, "Chloe, what are you doing up here? Are you sleeping?!". My doggie is such a faker!

My DH's new bookmark! So in love <3

Yes!!! Can't wait <3

The best card I received from my husband...

It reads...
Attn:
The translation services were experiencing higher than usual call volumes between 5/12-5/15.
This message was received 5/12 by a very eager & excited baby that can't wait to be in your arms.
Hurry up 12/12/12!


... Someone pinch me, please!!! Is this real?!? So in love with my husband and baby!!

Telling Our Parents! + brothers

If it was up to my husband, the whole world who have known about our pregnancy within seconds of the "official call" from the fertility clinic. He really did want to tell his parents our news so I texted my mother-in-law this:

Me: We want to meet up at Fudruckers with you guys tonight :) called and left a message for dad.
MIL: Special occasion? Just hungry?
Me: We are off for vacation. Can't we just go out with our parents without any questions?
MIL: Vacation? Ah, what a beautiful word!
Me: So 7 at Fudruckers?
MIL: Sounds good. Tine wanted me to work till 8 with her! Thank goodness I have an excuse!


Nathan airbrushed these awesome t-shirts that read:

"You are going to be grandparents" 

We wore the t-shirts under our sweaters. We ordered our food, and then took our sweaters off. Nathan's dad was the first one to realized the message on the t-shirt. Nathan's dad got my MIL's attention and once she realized the news, her eyes were watering! It was the amazing! We hugged, laughed, and enjoyed our dinner together. Our first dinner as a family of 5... Nathan, his mom, his dad, our baby, and I :) 

The next day, we went to my parents house. Nathan really REALLY wanted to tell my brothers the news. They have an unique kind of relationship. He wanted to tell them before telling my parents. We went over my parents house, and this time, Nathan wore a shirt that read, 

"You are going to be an uncle"

My brothers can be so slow sometimes, it took them a bit to realized the message... here is the video:

...we waited for my mom to get home and I was wearing the t-shirt Nathan made the previous day. I just unzipped my sweater and asked her to see what Nathan made for me. 

She freaked out; started screaming, covering her face. We couldn't tell whether or not she was crying... but her reaction was pretty priceless. 

As far as my dad, Nathan told him on our way to North Carolina for a mini vacation, in front of a radio shack... We are all so happy! My dad even told the people at Radio Shack that he was going to be a grandfather.  

We celebrated that night with champagne, great food, and called our family in Venezuela to tell them the news. Everyone screamed, cried! Finally, Nathan and I are pregnant!  

WE ARE PREGNANT!

Miracles do happen to those who believe in endless possibilities.

 I always dream to be a mother, to give my husband the joy of parenthood.

 To create a life with our love.

 Infertility stopped us for a while but we ended up winning this battle.

 I have no words to express all my feelings, but I am happy to announce:

WE ARE FINALLY PREGNANT!

On Thursday, March 29, 2012, I needed to use the bathroom. As I walked into our bathroom, I had a huge desire to test. I was prepare for the worse... you start thinking this way after seeing so many single lines. I grabbed a test, peed on the stick, and waited. I went to see what my puppy was doing... I came back to this.

Call me crazy, but there WAS a line. I kept taking the test around the house to put under different lights to make sure I wasn't crazy. So, even though there was a line, I just couldn't believe it. I remember I couldn't wait for my husband to come home. When he finally came home, I tried asking him if he saw a line, and he said, "Ana, I am not riding this roller coaster with you, I am going to wait until Monday for the blood test". I don't blame him for not wanting to even take a look at my positive test... it has been a single line for years, but I was pretty sure IT WAS POSITIVE! We made dinner and watched TV. 

Over the next few days, I became obsessed with testing. If you don't believe me, take a look at this:

On Saturday, March 31st, 2012... I was online while my husband was mowing the grass outside. THEN, I remember... "I have a First Response Sensitive Test". I quickly looked for it, peed on the stick, and there it was... A SECOND LINE! Yet another faint line. But it was there. I went to twitter and asked, "how reliable are first response pregnancy test"... everyone said, "pretty reliable". I don't know why, but I ran downstairs with no pants, and told my husband, "I think I am pregnant!". He was so mad... he looked at me and closed the door! Oh yea, I forgot he didn't want to know until the blood test day but I couldn't help it. I ran back upstairs, after doing a little dance, and sat on my bed, and just CRIED! Could this really be it? Here is the First Response picture, once again, you can't see the line, but I promised you there were two lines there:

I kept testing and testing until and even after our blood test. By Sunday, April 1st, 2012... I was convinced that I couldn't get that many faint lines in so many different tests if I wasn't pregnant.I went to Walmart and bought more 'First Response Tests". So I took one on Sunday morning and the test line was DARKER!

 I told my husband that my friend, Isis, wanted to hang out. He went skating and I went shopping for a present. I knew he didn't want to know until the next day, so I started watching a show on the computer very loud so he would kick me out of the room since he was too online. I politely offered to go to the office and got his present all ready. 

On Monday, April 2nd, 2012, we went to the fertility clinic at 8:00am. My blood was drawn, and we left. I forgot my progesterone at home so we had no choice but to drive back home. We came home, and took a nap. The day was going by so slow. The doctor told us if we come before 10:00am, we would get the results the same day. Before leaving,  I told my husband that I wanted to take my baby diaper bag for good luck, he thought I was crazy, but little did he know, his present was there. We were driving to the skate park, when my husband saw an electric car drive by Wegmans, and then suddenly, I find myself sitting in a car dealership.  I kept staring at my phone; waiting for the call. My husband did tell me he wanted to be there when we received the call. We were together the whole time, and the minute he walked away to talk to someone, the phone rang. I tried getting his attention but he was engaged in a conversation with the sales person and someone else. I answered the phone and Nurse L sounded so happy... 

This is what she said, word by word, no joke:

"Hi Ana, I am calling you about your blood work. 

It's positive... 

Congratulations, you are pregnant"

Did she seriously just told me, I AM PREGNANT! Is this a joke? I couldn't cry... smile, jump! Nothing, I was literally SHOCKED! I go back inside to see if my husband is done talking. I asked him if he wants to go outside with me. He didn't want to; he was in car shopping mode. He kept asking me if everything was okay. I told him I got the call... He said, "Oh I am sorry". I guess I just didn't have any emotions left in me. My eyes got teary, and I said "we are pregnant".

He quickly reached for my cellphone and called the fertility clinic. It was the funniest conversation EVER!... It went something like this, This is Nathan, and I want to know my wife's blood results. She is not around me so she told me to call you guys. WHAT? She is pregnant, like RIGHT NOW pregnant....

He later told me that the nurse said, yes pregnant as of right now, yesterday, tomorrow! 

We hugged! We just couldn't believe it!!!! We finally went to the car where I gave him his gift.

For that day on, we started a new chapter in our lives. 

A Pea in the pod

I am obsessed with maternity dresses; don't ask me why. 

I found this website that sells the cutest maternity maxi dresses. 

I cannot wait to purchase some of these! 

 

 

 

Loving these maternity dresses! 

I miss blogging! I will back to full blogging in about two weeks... Be prepare for new fun exciting posts about my birthday, anniversary, husband's birthday, and puppy's birthday...plus an update about my infertility. In the mean time, enjoy this picture of puppy Chloe.

How is everyone doing?

Infertility

Please take the time to read the article below; written by Alicia from

{From the heart of Alicia Marie}

Check out her blog and her amazing story. 

Alicia has been trying to conceive for over 1.5 years; diagnosed with PCOS...

She is currently saving money towards her dream of becoming a mommy through IVF

Stop ignoring me!

It's a topic that you've all read on my blog.  You've discussed in my comments section on how insensitive some people can be with the words they say, but in reality it's not the words that hurt the most; it's the silence that cuts me to the core.

Too often, people offer well meaning advice that can lead even the hardest heart to ache.  Their words are like fingernails scraping fresh scabs on the wounds of my heart.  Unfortunately words are just that, words.  Yes they hurt, but as the old cliche quote goes, "actions speak louder than words."

With that said, STOP IGNORING ME!  Stop ignoring my feelings.  Stop silencing the reality of my infertility.

I understand that it's hard for people who have never faced infertility to understand how much our hearts ache.  Really, I get it.  It's just that sometimes your ignorance on infertility isn't really ignorance at all, it's stupidity.  The problem isn't that you don't understand what we're going through, it's that you choose not to even try.  Many choose to simply ignore the fact that I (and many others--1 in 8, in fact) are going through a heart-breaking, life-changing, marriage-testing disease and choose to go about their life as if other people aren't hurting.

Our lives are just as much affected by yours as yours are affected by ours.

In all honesty, it's hard enough for us to go to Walmart without wanting to throw the nearest garden rake at a "mother" who yells explicit words at her kid across the store.  What most people don't understand is that infertility affects even the simplest of tasks.  What was once a quick, easy trip to the grocery store now has turned into an emotional battle, and quite simply I avoid it (and I'm sure I'm not the only one)!  Sometimes, Most of the time, we struggle with special occasions like holidays (especially Mother's Day!!!), birthday parties, and basically anything that has to do with kids.  So PLEASE, STOP  thinking we're horrible people for wanting to take care of ourselves and guard our hearts from another ache.  We're not hateful people for not wanting to show up to your second or third baby shower, we just know what will be best for ourselves (and probably for your party).  Who wants a crying, hormonal (probably from all the infertility meds she's on) woman at their party anyway?

Don't get me wrong, we're not always going to want to lock ourselves in our house wearing our comfiest sweat pants and baggiest hoodie, eating the sweetest candy we can find, (although it's quite tempting) but the reality is that it's going to happen on occasion.  We're going to have days that need to be focused on healing our hearts from a failed IUI or IVF cylce, from another miscarriage, from the physical and emotional strain of wanting to strangle the explicit-yelling, trashy pregnant women with 5 kids in Walmart.  It's just going to happen.

So, do ourselves all a favor, will you?

Stop ignoring me and my feelings of inadequacy because I can't "just relax" and magically get pregnant like everyone says. Don't judge me because I don't want to give up my dream of having a biological child to call my own and am not ready to "just adopt" (because I'll magically get pregnant--YEAH RIGHT!).

The reality is that my feelings are real.  They're legit, and I'm not the only one that feels this way.  Infertility affects 1 in 8 people.  My thoughts and feelings are just as important as yours, so stop ignoring them.

Just stop it.

*Disclaimer* This post was not directed towards any specific person or party.  It simply was written to express the thoughts and feelings, which many people go through, that need to talked about and not ignored..  Remember, it's time people stop ignoring infertility!

#NIAW