Wednesday, April 25, 2012


Please take the time to read the article below; written by Alicia from
Check out her blog and her amazing story. 
Alicia has been trying to conceive for over 1.5 years; diagnosed with PCOS...
She is currently saving money towards her dream of becoming a mommy through IVF

Stop ignoring me!

It's a topic that you've all read on my blog.  You've discussed in my comments section on how insensitive some people can be with the words they say, but in reality it's not the words that hurt the most; it's the silence that cuts me to the core.

Too often, people offer well meaning advice that can lead even the hardest heart to ache.  Their words are like fingernails scraping fresh scabs on the wounds of my heart.  Unfortunately words are just that, words.  Yes they hurt, but as the old cliche quote goes, "actions speak louder than words."

With that said, STOP IGNORING ME!  Stop ignoring my feelings.  Stop silencing the reality of my infertility.

I understand that it's hard for people who have never faced infertility to understand how much our hearts ache.  Really, I get it.  It's just that sometimes your ignorance on infertility isn't really ignorance at all, it's stupidity.  The problem isn't that you don't understand what we're going through, it's that you choose not to even try.  Many choose to simply ignore the fact that I (and many others--1 in 8, in fact) are going through a heart-breaking, life-changing, marriage-testing disease and choose to go about their life as if other people aren't hurting.

Our lives are just as much affected by yours as yours are affected by ours.

In all honesty, it's hard enough for us to go to Walmart without wanting to throw the nearest garden rake at a "mother" who yells explicit words at her kid across the store.  What most people don't understand is that infertility affects even the simplest of tasks.  What was once a quick, easy trip to the grocery store now has turned into an emotional battle, and quite simply I avoid it (and I'm sure I'm not the only one)!  Sometimes, Most of the time, we struggle with special occasions like holidays (especially Mother's Day!!!), birthday parties, and basically anything that has to do with kids.  So PLEASE, STOP  thinking we're horrible people for wanting to take care of ourselves and guard our hearts from another ache.  We're not hateful people for not wanting to show up to your second or third baby shower, we just know what will be best for ourselves (and probably for your party).  Who wants a crying, hormonal (probably from all the infertility meds she's on) woman at their party anyway?

Don't get me wrong, we're not always going to want to lock ourselves in our house wearing our comfiest sweat pants and baggiest hoodie, eating the sweetest candy we can find, (although it's quite tempting) but the reality is that it's going to happen on occasion.  We're going to have days that need to be focused on healing our hearts from a failed IUI or IVF cylce, from another miscarriage, from the physical and emotional strain of wanting to strangle the explicit-yelling, trashy pregnant women with 5 kids in Walmart.  It's just going to happen.

So, do ourselves all a favor, will you?

Stop ignoring me and my feelings of inadequacy because I can't "just relax" and magically get pregnant like everyone says. Don't judge me because I don't want to give up my dream of having a biological child to call my own and am not ready to "just adopt" (because I'll magically get pregnant--YEAH RIGHT!).

The reality is that my feelings are real.  They're legit, and I'm not the only one that feels this way.  Infertility affects 1 in 8 people.  My thoughts and feelings are just as important as yours, so stop ignoring them.

Just stop it.

*Disclaimer* This post was not directed towards any specific person or party.  It simply was written to express the thoughts and feelings, which many people go through, that need to talked about and not ignored..  Remember, it's time people stop ignoring infertility!

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  1. Hi! New follower from Restless Blog Hop. Hope you'll stop by soon and follow be back. AND...if you would, please cast your vote on my poll. It's located in the upper left corner...can't miss it. THanks!!

  2. This is very touching post... I've struggled with infertility and I'm
    Finally starting ivf next month and my name is Alicia as well.... Ttc is a difficult and long journey all u hear is your young it will happen just wait or maybe you should take a break ....

  3. Such a powerful post! You are an amazing writer! I am visiting form the Young and Restless Blog Hop and wanted to stop in and say hi! I am a new follower! I blog over at hope you'll stop by and do the same