Wednesday, April 25, 2012


Please take the time to read the article below; written by Alicia from
Check out her blog and her amazing story. 
Alicia has been trying to conceive for over 1.5 years; diagnosed with PCOS...
She is currently saving money towards her dream of becoming a mommy through IVF

Stop ignoring me!

It's a topic that you've all read on my blog.  You've discussed in my comments section on how insensitive some people can be with the words they say, but in reality it's not the words that hurt the most; it's the silence that cuts me to the core.

Too often, people offer well meaning advice that can lead even the hardest heart to ache.  Their words are like fingernails scraping fresh scabs on the wounds of my heart.  Unfortunately words are just that, words.  Yes they hurt, but as the old cliche quote goes, "actions speak louder than words."

With that said, STOP IGNORING ME!  Stop ignoring my feelings.  Stop silencing the reality of my infertility.

I understand that it's hard for people who have never faced infertility to understand how much our hearts ache.  Really, I get it.  It's just that sometimes your ignorance on infertility isn't really ignorance at all, it's stupidity.  The problem isn't that you don't understand what we're going through, it's that you choose not to even try.  Many choose to simply ignore the fact that I (and many others--1 in 8, in fact) are going through a heart-breaking, life-changing, marriage-testing disease and choose to go about their life as if other people aren't hurting.

Our lives are just as much affected by yours as yours are affected by ours.

In all honesty, it's hard enough for us to go to Walmart without wanting to throw the nearest garden rake at a "mother" who yells explicit words at her kid across the store.  What most people don't understand is that infertility affects even the simplest of tasks.  What was once a quick, easy trip to the grocery store now has turned into an emotional battle, and quite simply I avoid it (and I'm sure I'm not the only one)!  Sometimes, Most of the time, we struggle with special occasions like holidays (especially Mother's Day!!!), birthday parties, and basically anything that has to do with kids.  So PLEASE, STOP  thinking we're horrible people for wanting to take care of ourselves and guard our hearts from another ache.  We're not hateful people for not wanting to show up to your second or third baby shower, we just know what will be best for ourselves (and probably for your party).  Who wants a crying, hormonal (probably from all the infertility meds she's on) woman at their party anyway?

Don't get me wrong, we're not always going to want to lock ourselves in our house wearing our comfiest sweat pants and baggiest hoodie, eating the sweetest candy we can find, (although it's quite tempting) but the reality is that it's going to happen on occasion.  We're going to have days that need to be focused on healing our hearts from a failed IUI or IVF cylce, from another miscarriage, from the physical and emotional strain of wanting to strangle the explicit-yelling, trashy pregnant women with 5 kids in Walmart.  It's just going to happen.

So, do ourselves all a favor, will you?

Stop ignoring me and my feelings of inadequacy because I can't "just relax" and magically get pregnant like everyone says. Don't judge me because I don't want to give up my dream of having a biological child to call my own and am not ready to "just adopt" (because I'll magically get pregnant--YEAH RIGHT!).

The reality is that my feelings are real.  They're legit, and I'm not the only one that feels this way.  Infertility affects 1 in 8 people.  My thoughts and feelings are just as important as yours, so stop ignoring them.

Just stop it.

*Disclaimer* This post was not directed towards any specific person or party.  It simply was written to express the thoughts and feelings, which many people go through, that need to talked about and not ignored..  Remember, it's time people stop ignoring infertility!

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Tuesday, April 17, 2012

IUI # 1 Pictures

My puppy Chloe laying next to me the morning of the IUI

DH waiting patiently...

The 'Sperm' clock... 10minutes, here we go!

Singing the authorization form... :sigh: #hope

Sunday, April 15, 2012


"It's our faith that activates the power of God"

"Don't give up before the miracle happens"

"Miracles only for those who want to try and be grateful"

"An opportunity is a miracle waiting to happen"

"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as though everything is a miracle"

"Be realistic: Plan for a miracle"

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IUI #1

It has been a while since I posted an update on my "infertility" life. As mention previously, I had an IUI done on Wednesday, March 21st, 2012. It was the perfect day, it really was.

I took the day off because I wanted to be relax; stress free. I woke up to my husband's alarm. He got ready for work and I wished him luck giving his sample. I was nervous and anxious, but felt happy. I tried going back to sleep but instead I decided to watch some shows online. My puppy was laying next to me sleeping. The hubby gave me a call on his way to the fertility clinic and I was a nervous rack. I was so nervous that I decided to take a shower. He called when he was done and we decided to meet at his mom's house.

It was very important for me to have him there with me. Although he thought it would be weird, I needed him there and he knew that, so he was there. A few days before our IUI, I asked him to create a playlist on my iTouch. He did it the night before the IUI. It was perfect.

I tried on different outfilts. I felt like I was doing a little runway show. I decided to wear a pink dress with a black sweater and black sandals. It reminded me of our trip to Cancun. I felt pretty, special, but most importantly calm and lucky.

I kept asking my self. Could this really be it?

I got in the car and drove to meet with my husband at his mom's house. We watched television for a little bit and then went off to the fertility clinic again. We got there way too early so we decided to stop at this bakery shop. We got a vegetarian pizza, a coke, and yummy desserts. The pizza was delicious, but I stopped eating it after I realized there were onions in it. 

We finished and drove off to the fertility clinic. I believe we tried stopping at a pet store but it was closed. We went to the fertility clinic and waited until my name was called. It was approximately 12:30ish pm when they finally called me. We went back on the room. I undressed, and started listening to my music.

The doctor came in and asked if we felt lucky. We sure did. We laughted and the doctor handed my husband's sample to him. It was pink. I thought PERFECT! My favorite color. I asked to see the semen analysis and saw his sample post wash was 7.7million. I asked if it was okay and the doctor said "we like to see it over 10million". I didn't care.

Dr. A asked my husband to keep the sample warm while he prepared everything. It was uncomfortable, and at one point painful. Before I knew it, it was done.

Dr. A and nurse K set the "sperm" clock for 10 minutes. I laid there, listen to music, and waited until it was done. I did not want to move from that table thinking the sperm was going to leak *TMI* I know...

Well it didn't. I felt really secure, happy, and lucky.

I went home with bad cramping. The cramping lasted for a few days, but then dissapeared. I survived the two weeks wait.

...You will need to stay tune to know the results and what we are up to now.

PS. I will share pictures later!

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Thursday, April 12, 2012


H A P P I N E S S:
 is essentially a state of going somewhere, wholeheartedly, one-directionally, 
without regret or reservation.
~William H. Sheldon

Check Out: "Without A Glitch"  
one of my favorite twitter friend with the most adorable baby girl!

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