Tuesday, September 20, 2011
So my question is, am I pregnant or delusional?
I am asking this because I cried this morning on my way to work because my muffin and banana fell on the floor. I just wanted to eat my breakfast and my world ended when my breakfast hit the ground...
-I am not sure how I feel about crying over a muffin! SERIOUSLY?
ahh, my husband just laughed because it was really funny!
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
I'm sitting here waiting for the doctor to see me. I have teary eyes as I wait and write this.
The office is small and there are alot of patients waiting. Some are pregnant, some are here with their brand new babies. And some are here just like me with no baby and not pregnant. To say I'm scared is an understatement. I can't quite define my feelings yet.
I can't believe this day is finally here. I'm trying to be positive about this. I really am.
I came to the conclusion that I'm here because I'm being proactive about pregnancy, not because I have a problem.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
I am sad. I am scared. I feel hopeless. You may think I am dramatic, and that's fine! but this is truly how I am feeling right now.
If you read my blog, you know that my husband and I are trying to conceive our first baby. I finally had the courage to make a doctor's appointment today and tomorrow my TTC roller coaster will take a different turn. I feel like I am labeled as infertile now because we are no longer trying on our own, we are seeking help. Don't get me wrong, I want help; however, with help comes the cruel reality and or confirmation that "something" may be wrong. or maybe no, right?
I have been unable to control my feelings today. And I keep reminding myself that "babies can't have babies" as my husband would say. I need to stop being a baby about this, and be strong. I just need to figure out how :sigh:
I spent hours getting prepare for tomorrow's appointment. I requested my complete medical record to take with me, printed my BBT chart, and have several questions that I need to ask. I do not know what to expect, but I sure hope I don't start crying in front of the doctor.
I am going to be as positive as I can be with this experience. I am willing to do anything and everything so one day I can hold my own baby!
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Happy are those who dream dreams and
Sunday, September 4, 2011
I had so much fun while we were there! There were no worries...
It was perfect...
We spent a lot of time together; just him and I
We went to the pool, to the beach, shopping, to the mall, to different musicals, to the bar, to a casino... we did almost everything we could while we were there.
I am honestly one of the luckiest girl ever! My husband is great... he cooks, he cleans, he loves our dog, he is family oriented, he is smart, intelligence, he is goofy, he loves working out... he is loving, caring! The list can go on and on but I will never finish writing this.
I needed to share this because I remember once my grandfather told me that I would know if my love for someone was real because anything he does would make me feel like a queen... and that's how every girl should feel. That is exactly how I feel when I am around my husband, like a queen! Even when he picks on me for being lazy and disorganized.
I am not kidding when I say, my husband makes me a better person each day. He always pushes me to do better- I learn a lot from him, and I know he will be a great father soon.
Friday, September 2, 2011
- We continue to use 'Cycle Beads'- according to this, I am still in the fertile window and have about 5 days left... I started counting the beads when I was spotting, some people tells me that's when you start and some say you start counting the beads when you actually start bleeding... so according to the cycle beads I am on CD15
- We are currently using 'Pre-seed'- I can't say if it works or not yet because I haven't been able to track my O day this cycle yet.
- We are doing the SMEP- started on CD 8 (according the cycle beads) or CD 7 according to fertilyfriend.com ...either way, we are 'baby dancing' every other day
- I am taking my temp every morning at 6:20am even though I still do not understand this charting thing!
- After 'baby dancing'; laid on bed with my legs up for 30-45 minutes with a pillow underneath me
- I am continuing the use of OPKs and taking prenatal vitamins