Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Waiting :(

I had my doctor's appointment on CD 21 to test if I am ovulating on my own or not. The results were supposed to be back within 2 days. My appointment was on Tuesday. I called them Thursday afternoon to see if my results were available, and the receptionist told me the nurse would call me Friday or Monday. I waited for the call all day Friday, and nothing. I waited for the call yesterday and called them around 2:30pm to get my results when I didn't hear back from them. They put me on hold for about 15 minutes, finally the receptionist comes back on the phone and said, 

"What is your phone number? 
The nurse is with a patient and she would call you back today with your results". 

I gave her my number and once again WAITED (by the phone this time) for the call...
 and they never called. 

I am on CD28 today and as of last night, 
I have been dreaming and hoping that I ovulated and that my AF does not come today, and that we will finally get our BFP this cycle. 

I wanted to have my blood test result BEFORE today! Because I did not want to dream, to hope.. 
not this cycle. 

I am tired of crying! I am tired of waiting up in the middle of night telling my husband over and over how sorry I am that we are not pregnant yet! I am tired of having my heart crushed over and over again every month. 

I wanted things to be different this cycle. I wanted to know the results before CD28 so I am mentally and emotionally prepare if AF shows up today. I do not want to take another pregnancy test if the result is going to be NEGATIVE. 

I do not want the disappointment! I really just want one answer...

DO I OVULATE OR NOT? 

ps. to make things worse, I woke up today feeling dizzy, and my tummy hurts!

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