Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Struggling

I am having a difficult time dealing with infertility today. I want to stay positive and have hope but it seems as every day I am further away from being pregnant.

Why do I feel this way?

I have a great support system: my husband, my family, my friends, and this blog. Why do I feel so alone?


On my drive to the doctor’s office today, I started dreaming of what it would be like to have a baby. I suddenly got really sad because part of me fears that I may never be able to experience this. I often asked myself what to do next… To be honest, I do not know. I told my husband last night that I wanted to try to get pregnant for the next two years and then maybe we can consider adoption. Obviously, he does not want to wait that long.

When, how, and where do you draw a line? When is it enough?

I get my hopes up every cycle; thinking ‘this is it’ then AF arrives. I pretend to be okay but truly am struggling with all this. I get my happy face on and try to move to a new cycle but it is exhausting.



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2 comments:

  1. I honestly stopped thinking about it. It will have you so depressed if that's all you worry about constantly (well for me it was like that!)
    I just figured, if God wants me to have kids, it will happen. If not, it won't be the end of the world. I know that may not be too comforting...but it will happen when its time!

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    Replies
    1. I am trying so hard to stop thinking about it or at lest try to enjoy the ride but it is so hard! I honestly cannot picture myself not having children; so I hope soon I will have the joy to be a mother

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